Why Gen Z Thinks It's Emotionally Intelligent (But Might Just Be Avoidant)
“I’m not ghosting, I’m protecting my peace.”
At first glance, it sounds like emotional maturity. Setting boundaries. Honoring mental health.
But scratch the surface, and you’ll find a blurry line between healing and just… avoiding everything uncomfortable.
The Rise of Therapy-Talk Culture
Therapy-speak is everywhere.
What used to be reserved for actual therapy sessions now floods TikTok, text convos, and comment sections.
Saying things like “I’m not available for that type of energy right now” feels better than admitting, “I’m avoiding this because it’s hard.”
We’ve gotten so good at analyzing behavior that we can label red flags in seconds.
But sometimes, the constant labeling turns people into walking diagnostic checklists instead of… humans.
It’s easier to say someone is a narcissist than to admit that relationships are messy—and maybe you both played a part.
Healing or Just Ghosting With Extra Steps?
There’s a difference between setting a boundary and building a wall.
A lot of what gets passed off as “emotional intelligence” might just be well-articulated fear of intimacy.
Instead of having hard conversations, we say we’re “cutting off toxic energy.”
Instead of resolving conflict, we call it “protecting our peace.”
In reality, sometimes we’re just scared.
Scared of being vulnerable.
Scared of being wrong.
Scared of being seen.
Is Everything Really Trauma?
We love to label.
And while it’s powerful to name your experiences, not everything painful is traumatic.
Calling every disappointment “trauma” or every inconvenience a “trigger” can water down the meaning of those words—and give us permission to avoid growth.
Emotional intelligence isn’t about knowing the terms; it’s about sitting with discomfort and still choosing connection.
So, What Is Emotional Intelligence Then?
Real emotional intelligence is:
- Recognizing your patterns and holding yourself accountable
- Choosing dialogue over distance
- Letting people make mistakes, including yourself
- Being honest about when you’re actually hurt vs. when you’re just uncomfortable
It’s less about sounding healed and more about actually healing—which is often messier and quieter than Instagram makes it seem.
Conclusion
Gen Z has done incredible work in destigmatizing mental health.
But the next step in emotional intelligence?
Putting the vocabulary down sometimes—and doing the scary, vulnerable, human stuff.
Like staying in the conversation.
Like not ghosting.
Like admitting you still have healing to do.
And that’s okay.
Awareness is a good first step.
But growth?
That takes action.